Genuinely Rubbish Facebooks #2

"Interests: Rugby, Rowing, and listening to music"

Hello, my name is Chris and I enjoy rugby, rowing, and listening to music. Will you be my friend?

No, Chris, I absolutely will not. You sound fucking tedious.

"Activities: Hanging around with mates"

Hello, my name is Chris and I enjoy hanging around with my mates.

Of course you do, Chris. That's why they're your mates. That's what mates are, you fucking tedium.

Some Witty Quips

These are some witty quips: one-liners and such. They'd be better in context really. The witty bits have been put in italics.

Well, looks like Monster Dog's been barking up the wrong tree. ('Monster Dog', 1997)

And you say I'm the crazy one ('Crazy Bitch/Potty Bitch', madcap Anglo-American romp, 2000)

Hmm. I didn't think there was a 'T' in China! ('Forever Never Comes Again', Bond Franchise reboot, forthcoming)

I guess every dog has its Day! ('Monster Dog', starring Bill Crosby as Simon Day, 1997)

Yeah? Who's wanking now? (Sex-wank, c.2003)

A really good one

So there's a thick character called Harriet and Ludvig's just told John that he's slept with her. A fourth character, Craymond (not a name, really, but go with it) comes in and says, to John, "I did something stupid last night". John, quite cleverly, then says;

'So did Ludvig!'

That'd be a really good one, I think.