The Man Who Towed My Car and How Frequently He Presumably Wanks Over Children

Jeremy Robinson and Very.

I've had to change the name to protect the identity of one of the people involved. But suffice it to say he's a right old prick and given half a chance I'd kick his old todge in.

Annoying, is the point. A real miffer.

Suggestions People Could Make (To Get A Car Started)

Maybe put it in neutral...what?...no, I’m just thinking with it being a hill...

What’s a jack for? Could we use a jack?

More petrol. Sometimes it’s that simple...well, diesel then!! Who are you, Spencer Specific?

Easily solved. Take the girl, right, and pull her left leg up onto the bed-side table – no, her right leg...actually it doesn’t matter which leg, really. Okay, and then just gently, steadily thrust your- what? Oh, the car...right, I quite like Ralph’s thing about maybe putting it in neutral

You know how when a hot air balloon’s sort of flagging a bit, they throw something out? Could we not just do that?...I don’t know, the radio?

Call the AAA.

Have you tried getting hold of the rack? WHAT? How is that – no, it’s not another sexual thing, Andrew, I mean the R.A.C. you bell-end!

It’s fucked. Just leave it. Dead end.

And you’re certain this is your car? ...yes, I suppose you would, yes

...it might now be time for us to turn to the black arts...