1. 1. There’s been a hosepipe ban and you and your lover are having an argument about whether or not you could give the chrysanthemums a once over. The situation is further complicated by the fact that you yourselves are chrysanthemums.
2. 2. Imagine that your lover is dead hungry, and you are a melon that is covered in pesticide. You consider asking him/her to wash you off, but soon realise there’s a hosepipe ban
3. 3. It’s cold outside so you pop inside a brothel for a smoke. The hoe’s have banned pipes, so you have to use one of those sheeshas with bubbles. This requires water, which is complicated by the fact that there’s a hosepipe ban. You begin to have sex.
4. 4. You and your lover are hosepipes, who have been banned. You begin to have sex.
5. 5. There is a hoes/pipe ban in Florence, where you are holidaying. This means a gardener can use neither a hoe nor a pipe in his work. You try and get around this by learning the Italian for ‘I am not a gardener’. You begin to have sex.
6. 6. Hosepipe in both arses, joining you together. You pretend to be Catdog (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catdog), and attempt to run away from each other.
